Bimblebery was impressive, but he didn’t quite hit the same level as Kirk when it came to pub-fu. He tripped on John’s foot, but managed to keep his stride, appearing as though nothing had happened at all - possibly a combination of a high charisma and dexterity. He even nonchalantly scooped up the little wooden roller we’d left as an obstacle, neatly stowing it away in a pocket as he made his way from table to table. He was organized and efficient.

However, when Richter jumped up in his way, Bimbleberry bounced off and onto the floor. He was back up on his feet in an instant, smoothly apologizing, but the Thirsty Goat could get a bit rowdy, and that was going to be an issue.

Bimbleberry did have better customer service skills than Kirk. He was very sociable and got along quite well with everyone in the pub, especially Moony and Markus, who were positively beaming as they got waited on by the [Butler]. Zirce and Emma had been more enamored with Kirk, but Bimbleberry won them over quickly enough. Kirk’s forthright bravado would probably grate on some patrons, but most of us working at the Goat were that special kind of grating anyway. Bran was especially grating when it came to cheese.

One thing that made Bimbleberry stand out from Kirk was that he didn’t return to the kitchen to deliver orders. He vanished them into his paper storage, and with a pushing motion made them appear on the other side of the room.

Ah, suddenly [Paper Pusher] made much more sense as an Ability name.

This time it was Aqua’s turn to make a mess, spilling beer all over the floor. Bimbleberry nabbed a cloth and walked over to it. He simply swirled it a few times and the mess was completely gone. The floor even sparkled.

“Were our towels that amazing?” I asked Bran, who'd left the kitchen to Lemontwist so he could watch the proceedings.

“Nah, got to be an Ability.”

“Hmm… [Strengthed Tools] maybe?”

“Sounds right.”

Bimbleberry looked good doing it too. Never a sign of anxiety or concentration or effort, just smooth operation. At one point Zirce splashed some beer on his nice suit by accident. She immediately apologized, then stopped as she realized the outfit wasn’t even marked.

Bimbleberry smiled and explained, “[Immaculate Attire].”

There were two problems though. As a gnome he struggled to easily reach around the dining tables, and he really lacked a presence in the pub. Everyone knows how awful it is to try and catch a waiter’s attention in a busy tavern, and Bimbleberry was almost impossible to spot even a few tables away.

I looked over at Annie, who was crestfallen.

“Well, Annie?”

“He’s…. really good?”

“Aye, but…”

She put her face in her hands. “He’s right behind table six, but I can’t see him.”

“Oh, there he is!” I pointed to the tip of a head barely visible behind Moony’s back. “And now he’s behind Zirce at table eight!”

“But he’s so good at this!” Annie whinged.

“Yeah, he’s good, but not quite as good as Kirk. He’s missing vim, and you need vim to work in a dwarven pub.”

“Do I get any say?” Bran asked. We turned to regard him.

“Sure, go ahead.” Annie said.

“Havin’ a human around means I’ll have someone’s brain ta pick fer new recipes. That, and he’ll be able to easily reach the rafters so ya won’t need ta keep sending someone to clean up there. Johnsson took a tumble last time.”

“Ooooh, was that why he was demanding a rope system?”

“Aye, he’s just lucky he fell on his head. Would have been a disaster if he landed feet first.”

We all sucked in our breaths at the thought. Dwarves had naturally weak feet, which was why we wore padded socks and armored boots everywhere. No dwarf would be caught dead without those padded socks.

“Aqua was telling me how much she hated it up there too.” Annie said, with a tone of resignation.

We looked back to where Bimbleberry had hopped onto a stool in order to deliver a plate of cookies to Zirce and Emma.

“I guess that decides it. Should we let him finish?” Annie sighed.

“Might as well, he could have more to show us. Maybe [Nothingness] will help him stand out?” I chuckled.

Annie shook her head. “No, [Nothingness] makes people less likely to notice you.”

“Like Lunara’s [Shadowcloak] Blessing?” I asked.

“Yes and no. [Shadowcloak] drapes you in a tangible shadow and makes it easier to hide in darkness. [Nothingness] masks your presence in a crowd. Useful for a [Butler] or a [Burglar], but less so for anyone needing to hide or smite someone with darkness.”

“So… his Blessing Ability is to be less noticeable.”Stolen novel; please report.

“Aye.”

We glanced back to the room. Bimbleberry was nowhere to be seen.

Bran pointed to a pair of legs behind a table near Richter, John, and Johnsson. “Over there.”

—

In the end we chose Kirk. For me, the chance to pick a human’s brain for beer ingredients and alcohol was the deciding factor. I was still intently curious about my new world, and having Kirk around would give me access to an enormous wealth of first-hand information. I wanted to know how humans lived, what they ate, what they drank, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Also, I wasn’t actively trying to win the God’s little game, but if I wanted to take a crack at it I was going to need to access the human alcohol market eventually. Hopefully they didn’t have anything like Canada’s horrific alcohol import taxes. I used to pay four or five times what my European friends did for the same beer!

For example, one of the most famous beers in Europe is a Trappist ale. Trappist beers must be made by monks of the Trappist order in their monasteries and as a result, only ten Trappist monastery breweries are officially allowed to call their beers Trappist. There used to be eleven, but one of them lost the designation recently because all the monks had died of old age. That beer cost me nearly twenty dollars for a bottle compared to the five euros that any random Deutschbag could pay. Yeesh, what a ripoff. I was better off drinking Lucky, and that stuff was a swear-word at our old Beavermoose Brewery.

Bimbleberry had accepted his defeat with good grace, and taken his leave. Not before I got his contact info though, because I had other plans for the hyper-qualified little Butler.

Kirk had been overjoyed until we’d sat him down and forced him to read several dozen pages of dwarven contracts. It had taken him five hours, but soon we would have a brand new front of store! After he signed off on the contract, I got a notification for a little quest that I'd received from Tiara a while back. It was to complete a full hiring process for my first employee.

Quest Complete: The New GuyCongratulations! You now possess your first employee!

Gained 0.2 charisma! Your new charisma is 15.2!