Chapter 196

He doesn’t seem like a top star?

(What is he talking about…?)

(It’s okay. Director Sung will edit it well.)

Ian and Jo Tae-woong waited with interest for Kim Ju-young to open his mouth on the screen.

(Is it Seo-hee unnie’s talk show today?)

(The guest is Awy’s Joo-young.)

Park Su-min and Lee Yu-jeong also looked at Kim Ju-young with anticipation in their eyes. Kim Ju-young smiled awkwardly.

(But you know how audition programs divide the main vocal, dancer, and so on. What are you, Ju-young?)

Before waiting for Kim Ju-young’s answer, impatient Chae Seo-hee asked first.

(There’s nothing fixed. If I had to choose, maybe main dancer? But it doesn’t matter, because all of our members are good.)

Ian and Jo Tae-woong looked pleased. It was the same expression they had when they watched Park Seo-dam as an MC from behind.

(You sing well too, right? Anything else?)

(I also participate in composing…)

(Wow. Joo-young has a lot of skills.)

The songs that Kim Joo-young participated in composing for Awy appeared as captions.

“Kim Ju-young is really a cheat character.”

“Right.”

Kim Ju-young looked unsure of himself, but his composing sense, dancing skills, and will to improve himself even in his spare time were not something that could be made up. He definitely had some innate talent.

(Awy is doing well. My daughter said that they’re no joke overseas. How do you feel?)

(Is that so? I don’t really feel it…)

(Ah, are you being modest? You don’t have to pretend in front of us.)

(No, it’s not that…)

The actresses who bit the bait teased Kim Ju-young. Director Sung also joined in and started to bully Kim Ju-young.

(You’re really different from other popular idols.)

(Is this the famous ‘I don’t know’ thing?)

Kim Ju-young shook his hands and denied it. When it became quiet for a moment, he quickly continued.

(Well, we feel a lot from the performances. But we haven’t done many performances lately. So I don’t know how much our popularity has increased. I can guess for the domestic fans, but…)

Kim Ju-young scratched the back of his head and answered Lee Yu-jeong’s question. Chae Seo-hee, who carefully observed Kim Ju-young’s face, said bluntly.

(But I don’t think you’re that much of a top star, Ju-young?)

(What?)

Kim Ju-young was startled and made a dumbfounded expression. Park Su-min tapped Chae Seo-hee’s shoulder.

(Unnie, don’t say that. He might misunderstand.)

(Sorry, I mean… If I were in your position, I would be confident and proud.)

Awy had been receiving more attention than other rookie groups since their debut. They had been on a steady rise without any setbacks.

They were happy when they got their first place on music sites and music shows, and when they achieved records that they couldn’t even imagine before their debut, but their anxiety was greater.

Can we get better results than this in the next album?

What if our popularity fades away?

How long will our fans like us?

They couldn’t adapt to the situation because their popularity had risen so fast.

Chae Seo-hee nodded.

(I know. It’s more empty when you’re building your career.)

(Right. That’s why I think I couldn’t enjoy the good feelings at that time.)

The screen changed and showed the scenes of the actors receiving awards at film festivals, and giving their acceptance speeches at the end-of-year entertainment awards.

And there was also a scene of Awy receiving an award at a major music awards ceremony. Kim Ju-young on the screen was moistening his eyes as if he was about to cry, and spoke his feelings.

(I was happy and grateful, but it didn’t last long, I was anxious when I turned around.)

(Do you know that feeling? Happy but uneasy?)

(Ah…)

Especially Park Su-min was already hooked on Kim Ju-young’s words, making a furrowed brow.

(I know. I also worried a lot about what if the next work doesn’t do as well as the previous one when I go into it.)

Park Su-min had developed an obsession to show better acting after winning the Best Supporting Actress award at a film festival.(That’s right. That’s how I felt.)

Kim Ju-young’s face was shadowed by the leaves as the noon sun shone through. He fiddled with his fingers and opened his mouth with difficulty.

(To be honest… I don’t know. I feel happy but uneasy. Do you know what I mean?)

(Yes…)

He hadn’t experienced the downhill yet, so the fall was even scarier.

Jo Tae-woong fixed his eyes on the screen and casually asked Ian.

“Have you ever felt like that?”

“Me?”

Ian pondered.

‘Did I ever feel like that?’

[You’re just being greedy. How would you feel if you became a diamond overnight? Wouldn’t you be ecstatic?]

‘Oh.’

He realized something when he heard Jin’s words.

He had gone through the slump period, so he should have felt more accomplished as a star. But he had never felt the joy of soaring in the sky. It felt more like watching someone else’s story on TV.

He might have always lived with the thought that he had to do better than this, that there was nothing but a fall if he climbed too high.

“I think I did.”

Ian remembered the time when he saw his fan switch to another group in his previous life. He couldn’t sleep at all when the person who always attended the fan signing events suddenly disappeared.

‘Nothing has changed much since then.’

He had thought that he would succeed and reach that level when he saw Jupiter, who took his place. But he also felt frustrated when he realized that he couldn’t climb any higher.

Now that he had reached that position as Ian, he felt a new anxiety along with the desire to keep this popularity.

‘But I’ve been through the slump, so it’s not that bad.’

Thanks to his previous life experience, he didn’t feel as anxious as others, but he didn’t feel so heavy that he had to spill it out on the air like Kim Ju-young.

“You too?”

Jo Tae-woong asked in surprise.

“Of course. We won’t be young and popular forever, will we?”

“True.”

“It’s because we want to keep this momentum for a long time that we feel more anxious.”

He wasn’t thinking about the end of his career. He might have hoped that things would get better. But the higher he climbed, the more things he had to worry about.

(We did everything ourselves when we worked on the album. From producing to songwriting and choreography.)

(You’re talented.)

(But did I contribute much? I don’t think so. The members are so good.)

Ian had only thought that Kim Ju-young was amazing for trying various things even during his break.

‘So that’s why.’

But Kim Ju-young was hesitant because he wasn’t confident in his abilities, and he relieved it by doing other hobbies.

Ian suddenly recalled what he had said to Kim Ju-young.

‘You’re good at acting. I envy you. You have something certain.’

‘Don’t you have something too? You have a good ear for music. How’s the songwriting going?’

‘Well… Songwriting is fun. But I don’t have any noticeable achievements.’

He thought that he had nothing to rely on compared to Ian and Jo Tae-woong, who had a solid foundation in acting. He might have looked for other hobbies because of that.

‘He’s similar to Kim Yong-min.’

He had failed as an idol, and he had switched to acting to become a star. But he had done many things, but he couldn’t stick to one thing.

(That’s too bad…)

Chae Seo-hee said calmly.

(Don’t you regret it?)

(I do regret it now.)

(You couldn’t enjoy it at that time, right?)

Kim Ju-young nodded.

(Everyone goes through a slump-like phase once in a while. I did too.)

(You too?)

Chae Seo-hee nodded.

She had grown up as an actress by comparing herself with her peers. She always whipped herself by comparing herself with others, so she had never been happy even when something good happened.That’s why she only had regrets when she looked back.

(How did you overcome it?)

(Nothing special. I just enjoyed it when I was happy.)

(Really?)

(There’s no point in being anxious whether it works out or not, and it’s too… )

Chae Seo-hee couldn’t finish her sentence when Ian said a word.

“It’s not cost-effective.”

“Wow, you summarized it in one line.”

The three actresses didn’t hesitate to give advice to their young junior.

Kim Ju-young laughed awkwardly.

(You are much more amazing than you think.)

(You don’t need to live so fiercely. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.)

The image of Kim Ju-young that I saw in the trailer came to my mind. He looked like he would shed a tear with a single touch.

Ian and Jo Tae-woong teased him for crying for no reason, so he laughed sheepishly.

“Come on, Kim Ju-young. Talk to us.”

“Don’t make us feel like we’re the bad guys.”

Ian and Jo Tae-woong felt uneasy, realizing that they had unintentionally dismissed his worries as nothing, even though they sympathized with him.

“…Should we stop watching?”

“Yeah. Is there any interesting movie?”

“Do you want to play games?”

***

The CEO of the agency, Lee Byung-hun, leaned back on the sofa and sank into his thoughts after watching ‘Rural Life’.

‘The kids are really… diligent.’

From the perspective of the agency staff and the fans, AWY was walking the ideal path of an idol.

They didn’t have any personal SNS accounts, so they never made any mistakes with their words. They always went to the fan cafe and did fan service diligently.

They never had any scandals with their past, and they didn’t like drinking or nightlife.

At most, they would play games together, so there was little chance of them causing trouble and appearing on the social media.

“Individual or group.”

From the CEO’s point of view, the group itself was already doing well, so it was too early to take care of the individuals separately. If he did that, the fandom would split too.

“I can’t take care of each one of them.”

There were seven members in the group, so there were some members who didn’t get much attention. Since they were not soloists, he couldn’t take care of them individually.

It didn’t mean that each idol was living an ideal life just because AWY was walking the ideal path of an idol.

Kim Ju-young felt alienated from the other members, so his self-esteem was low.

‘I hope you can adjust well.’

He recalled Min’s words and the deep wrinkles on his forehead became deeper.

***

After ‘Rural Life’ ended, AWY’s fans conducted a hashtag campaign and a campaign to post encouraging messages for the members on the official cafe.

#Amazing_People_AWY

#AlwaysWithJuyoung

-I could relate to a lot of things in Rural Life today

I’m afraid of failing later, so I can’t even be happy when I have a happy moment

└Same, me too

└But it’s surprising that AWY thinks that way

└But the higher you are, the scarier it is to fall

└└True, just look at this place. If the sales drop, they’ll say they’re flops and whatnot

-Kim Ju-young, I get what you’re saying, but

It’s funny when AWY says thatㅋ

They say that while they’re covered in luxury gifts from the fans and driving foreign carsㅋㅋ With the money that the fans buy the albums withㅋㅋ

└Shut up

└AWY doesn’t accept support

└AWY doesn’t have a license

-How much did the other members bully him that his self-esteem is so low

└Hey, this is too obvious that you’re trollingㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└This post will be deleted soon.