A few days prior to Peter and Company leaving for Kinshasa

The cats were stalking about again. They did that whenever Bran cleaned the kitchens. And Bran was cleaning the kitchens a lot recently.

She willingly expended the energy to keep them away. A simple charge with her horn and some angry screaming did the trick. While they were useful for dealing with those awful rats, they also stunk, and tended to pee on everything. Her servants didn’t appreciate that.

They were also quite stupid. Penelope wasn’t quite sure why, but most other four-legged people were quite a bit dumber than her. Especially the other goats, who only ever seemed interested in food and procreation. At least the cats had a proper attitude.

She had better things to do, like keep watch over her home, and taste test beer.

Kitchen cleaning also meant more snacks for her, of course. She did so like snacks. Especially since Bran had taken over the kitchen. Annie, bless her heart, just wasn’t quite up to snuff.

Penelope the Five-Hundred-and-Fourth, most recent of her name, examined the bowl of goat food before her. It was… also not quite up to snuff. It mostly looked like simple grains and greens. Her bowl had been a bit empty recently, and her beloved beer was difficult to come by. That traitorous Richter had been encouraging a healthy diet.

She was a goat!! A round belly was fetching!

A problem for later. Perhaps she could corner him at some point and have a chat.

“Oy, Penelope!” Peter loomed over her, holding a set of chewed up socks. “Did you eat these?”

“Cor I did, gov’na. Whatcha gonna do about it?” She bleated in reply. She’d found them quite tasty, with the added flavour of constant use. Fine wool with thick leather; much better than Johnsson’s horrid metal-armoured things. That dwarf was right collar and puff, he was.

She and Peter glared at each other for another full minute, until Richter passed by. “Peter, are ya makin’ da love-eyes wit’ Penelope?”

Peter spun around and shook his fist. “That joke’s gettin’ old! She ate my socks! MY SOCKS!”

“Ooooh, lover’s tiff?” Aqua joined in.

Peter groaned and slumped down onto his hindquarters.

Penelope walked over and laid a hoof on his knee. “Keep it up, cove,” she maah’ed. “Don’t be such a whiny wanker.”

“Aww thanks, Penelope.” Peter scratched behind her ears where she really liked it, and her hoof beat involuntarily. “I forgive you, but only because you’re so cute.”

She permitted the indignity only because the one known as Peter was in her good graces at the moment. And because she was indeed “so cute!” With her shining white fur and perfectly straight horn, she was the envy of all the other unigoats.

She allowed the scratches to continue for a short while, then smacked Peter with her horn until he stopped. He paid her the appropriate amount of obsequiousness, then retreated.

Penelope surveyed her space, then returned to staring at the odd thing in the corner of her vision. It’d appeared during the sandy hooves incident after she’d been so horrifically assaulted by that jerk. It was a blue box covered in a bunch of strange squiggles, and when she looked at them, they seemed to speak within her mind.Stolen novel; please report.

Blessing Granted: [Yearn]!This is a test of the new System. Test. Test. Test.Barck thinks this little project of his is clever, but he’s in for a surprise.If you accept, you’ll [get] more [beer]!If you accept Yearn’s Blessing you will receive [Nothingness] and [Sense Emotions]

Do you accept?Yes/No